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It must be one of the most difficult things in the world to trust someone again after they’ve cheated on you, don’t you agree?
For some people, it’s impossible ever to trust that person again, but there’s also a percentage of couples who DO manage to save their relationship, even after one of them has had an affair.
The thing is… there must have been something missing the relationship for one of them to seek the attention of someone else, don’t you agree?
So let’s focus on the positive here and talk about restoring trust when getting back with your ex after an affair.
Let’s face it if the primary relationship were 100% perfect no one would have stayed out of it and into the arms of someone else in the first place, right?
So if you really do want to get back with your partner after an affair, then you’ll BOTH have to do some serious soul-searching and be totally honest with each as to why you split up in the first place.
Was it because you were both working too hard and didn’t allocate any time for each other as a loving couple?
If you have kids, did they always take priority and leave you harassed and tired most days?
Or was it a lack of intimacy that really affected how you felt about each other?
All these reasons can lead to one partner becoming frustrated and looking elsewhere for comfort and affection. But many people say if they had experienced this attention with their original partner they wouldn’t have looked elsewhere.
It reminds me of the famous quote by Paul Newman (who was married to actress Joanne Woodward for many years) when he said, “Why would I go out for a hamburger when I have a steak at home?”
There has to be a feel-good factor in every relationship to make it successful and sometimes it takes some effort every day to make it work and not take it for granted.
Some couples may need relationship counseling, others find if they really want to give it another go then they will be totally honest with each other and most importantly with themselves to fix the problems they previously experienced.
The person who had the affair will have to make a relentless commitment to reassuring their partner that things will change for the good, and the grieved partner will also have to be prepared to put the past behind them and look at addressing the issues that caused their partner to stray in the first place.
Look at your new relationship as having a second chance to put right what was wrong and concentrate on what attracted you to each other in the first place.
Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for your relationship to mature.
Restoring trust in a relationship takes time. It requires you to both take a good look at your attitudes and actions, then it can be possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.
But what if he’s still playing hard to get?
Well, it’s not surprising as around 93% of women DON’T get their ex back – but the good news is 7% of them do… and you could be one of them. All you have to do is try!
Source: moorsvatality
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